If I Had A Woman

She's got the personality of Darth Vader
 And the mentality of a sixth grader
 I better get her now, while I still hate her
 The way I hated you
 While she still just a hole to crawl into
 And I've still got my pride
 But if I had a woman
 If I had a woman that I could abuse
 If I had a woman that I could cruel to
 Wish I had a woman that I could refuse
 And then I guess that I'd be satisfied
 Why does she have to be more than just a pair of legs?
 And why can't I let her be just another fertile egg?
 I better get her now before I have to beg
 The way I did before
 While I'll still take any port in a storm
 And I've still got my pride
 But if I had a woman
 If I had a woman that I could annoy
 If I had a woman to take all the lashes
 I wish I had a woman that I could destroy
 'Cause then I guess that I'd be satisfied
 Oh God, somebody send me a woman
 'Cause I need a woman that I can despise
 I need a woman that I can tear limb from limb
 I need a woman to listen to lies
 And then I guess that I'll be satisfied
 Satisfied
 Then I guess that I'll be satisfied