Ain't Nothin' Free

Way out in the country on an old dirt road
 I was sippin' on a jar that was nice and cold
 My Chevy was a-jumpin', my music was a-pumpin'
 Up ahead in my path, coulda swore I saw something
 Well, she was long-legged with a big ol' butt
 Had soft blonde hair that was pretty and cut
 I could tell she was stuck and into some trouble
 She was walkin' down the ditch just shaking that bubble
 So I pulled up on her with my window down
 Said, "Hey, pretty thing, can I drive you to town?"
 She said, "Thank you, baby, I was dying of heat"
 "I ain't got a lick of water, ain't got nothin' to eat"
 She put her hand on my handle and I said, "Hold up"
 "Before you go climbing into my pickup truck"
 "It takes more than a smile to turn these wheels"
 "So before we get going, baby, here's the deal"
 Well, if you wanna come along with me
 Ain't nothing in the world for free
 No ass
 No gas, no grass, no ride
 If I can't smoke it and I can't poke it
 It better get my V8 stroking
 No ass
 No gas, no grass, no ride
 Well, she said, "Hell no", so I left her there
 She was shooting me a bird in my rearview mirror
 I got a few miles further down the road
 Then my dadgum right front tire got blowed
 Well, wouldn't you know?
 I ain't have no jack
 I left it in my grandpa's Cadillac
 I started thumbin' my way back into town
 That's when I flagged an old punch bug down
 Surprise, surprise
 Yeah, you know who
 That same damn girl I didn't give a ride to
 Now I said, "Baby, would you believe?"
 "I was comin' back to get you when a nail got me"
 "It's pretty damn funny meeting up like this"
 "I hope you ain't the kinda woman that would still be pissed"
 She said, "Nah, baby, it's all good"
 "As long as it's understood"
 Well, if you wanna come along with me
 Ain't nothing in the world for free
 No ass
 No gas, no grass, no ride
 If I can't smoke it and I can't poke it
 It better get my V8 stroking
 No ass
 No gas, no grass, no ride
 ♪
 Well, if you wanna come along with me
 Ain't nothing in the world for free
 No ass
 No gas, no grass, no ride
 If I can't smoke it and I can't poke it
 It better get my V8 stroking
 No ass
 No gas, no grass, no ride