Creepy Old Guy

Way back when I was just ten
 Simple and sweet
 Everywhere, fellas would stare
 Out on the street
 And I felt used
 Kinda confused
 I would refuse to look in their eyes
 But now I really love creepy old guys
 We all do!
 Gum disease
 Skin like grilled cheese
 Saggy old asses
 (Saggy old asses)
 Cute and vile
 Hey baby, smile
 To each girl that passes
 They make me blush
 (Can't get enough)
 Now one of 'em loves me, wants to be mine
 (That's right)
 Marrying my own creepy old guy!
 (I'm a creepy old guy)
 My creepy old guy, my creepy old guy
 I'm so happy I could cry
 Girls may seem disgusted, but we're actually just shy
 My creepy old groom (creepy old groom)
 Play that wedding tune
 Hey folks, step aside
 (I am older, but I'm glad I waited)
 'Cause here comes the bride
 I am marrying my creepy old guy
 (Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy)
 He's my creepy old guy
 (Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy!)
 Fix his hair
 Get him prepared
 For Armageddon
 Sure, the groom
 Crawled out of a tomb
 But hey, hey, it's a wedding!
 So dim the lights
 Pick up some rice
 Say something nice
 It's my day to shine
 I'm getting hitched to my creepy old guy
 (It's showtime)
 Creepy old guy, creepy old guy
 She's marrying a creepy old guy
 Have you guys seen "Lolita"?
 This is just like that, but fine
 Creepy old dude, creepy old dude
 Our faith has been renewed
 Now love is alive!
 ♪
 Wave your baby girl goodbye
 I am walking down the aisle
 I wanna see a tear in every eye as I pass by
 I know that on the outside he's disgusting
 And even on the inside, he's disgusting
 But I know that this time, I'm makin' it right
 (Making it right, making it right!)
 With my family by my side
 ♪
 O.M.G.
 Dressed to a "T"
 Fancy and formal
 I found me a wife
 L'chaim to life
 This is so normal!
 I was ignored
 But now, I'm adored!
 'Cause I extorted, tortured, and lied
 Give it up for my underage bride!
 Here comes the bride
 Here comes the bride
 God be glorified
 I can't believe some cultures think this kind of thing's alright
 My creepy old guy
 My creepy old guy
 Doesn't he deserve a chance at life?
 Oh yeah, that's right
 Yeah, that's right
 So let's make him alive!
 I am marrying my creepy old guy!
 Guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy
 Guy, guy, creepy old guy
 Guy, guy
 (I have chills)
 Yeah!