St. George and the Dragonet

[Narrator:]
 The legend you are about to hear is true
 Only the needle should be changed to protect the record
 [St. George:]
 This is the countryside
 My name is St George
 I'm a knight
 Saturday, July 10th, 8: 05 pm
 I was working out of the castle on the nightwatch
 When a call came in from the Chief
 A dragon had been devouring maidens
 Homicide
 My job, slay him
 [St. George:]
 You call me, Chief
 [Chief:]
 Yes, the dragon again, devouring maidens
 The King's daughter may be next
 [St. George:]
 Mmm-hmm
 You got a lead
 [Chief:]
 Oh, nothing much to go on
 Say, did you take that.45 automatic
 Into the lab to have them check on it
 [St. George:]
 Yeah, you were right
 [Chief:]
 I was right
 [St. George:]
 Yeah, It was a gun
 8: 22 pm, I talked to one of the maidens
 Who had almost been devoured
 [St. George:]
 Could I talk to you, Ma'am
 [Maiden:]
 Who are you
 [St. George:]
 I'm St. George, Ma'am
 Homicide, Ma'am
 Want to ask you a few questions, Ma'am
 I understand you were almost devoured by the dragon, Ma'am
 Is that right, dragon
 [Maiden:]
 It was terrible
 He breathed fire on me
 He burned me already
 [St. George:]
 How can I be sure of that, Ma'am
 [Maiden:]
 Believe me
 I got it straight from the dragon's mouth
 [St. George:]
 11: 45 pm
 I rode over the King's Highway
 I saw a man
 Stopped to talk to him
 Pardon me, Sir
 Could I talk to you for just a minute, Sir
 [Knave:]
 Sure, I don't mind
 [St. George:]
 What do you do for a living
 [Knave:]
 I'm a knave
 [St. George:]
 Didn't I pick you up on a 903 last year for stealing tarts
 [Knave:]
 Yeah, so what
 Do you wanna make a federal case out of it
 [St. George:]
 No, Sir
 We heard there was a dragon operating in this neighborhood
 We just want to know if you've seen him
 [Knave:]
 Sure, I've seen him
 [St. George:]
 Mmm-hmm
 Could you describe him for me
 [Knave:]
 What's to describe
 You see one dragon, you seen 'em all
 [St. George:]
 Would you try to remember, Sir
 Just for the record
 We just want to get the facts, Sir
 [Knave:]
 Well, he was, you know, he had orange polka dots...
 [St. George:]
 Yes, Sir
 [Knave:]
 Purple feet, breathing fire and smoke...
 [St. George:]
 Mmm-hmm
 [Knave:]
 And one big bloodshot eye
 Right in the middle of his forehead and
 Uh, like that
 [St. George:]
 Notice anything unusual about him
 [Knave:]
 No, he's just your run-of-the-mill dragon, you know
 [St. George:]
 Mmm-hmm
 Yes, Sir
 You can go now
 [Knave:]
 Hey, by the way, how you gonna catch him
 [St. George:]
 I thought you'd never ask
 A Dragonet
 3: 05 pm
 I was riding back into the courtyard
 To make my report to the lab
 Then it happened
 It was the dragon
 [Dragon:]
 Hey, I'm the fire-breathin' Dragon
 You must be St George, right
 [St. George:]
 Yes, Sir
 [Dragon:]
 I can see you got one of them new.45 caliber swords
 [St. George:]
 That's about the size of it
 [Dragon:]
 Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
 You slay me
 [St. George:]
 That's what I wanted to talk to you about
 [Dragon:]
 What do you mean
 [St. George:]
 I'm taking you in on a 502
 You figure it out
 [Dragon:]
 What's the charge
 [St. George:]
 Devouring maidens out of season
 [Dragon:]
 Out of season
 You'll never pin that rap on me
 Do you hear me, cop
 [St. George:]
 Yeah, I hear you
 I got you on a 412 too
 [Dragon:]
 A 412
 What's a 412
 [St. George:]
 Over-acting. Let's go
 [Narrator:]
 On September the 5th, the Dragon was tried and convicted
 His fire was put out and his maiden-devouring license revoked
 Maiden devouring out of season is punishable
 By a term of not less than 50 or more than 300 years