Brief History of My Life

We first moved to the USA all the way from Canada
 Drove across the continent from Nova Scotia to Pasadena
 My sister and me, and my mom and dad
 From the cull to the sunny south
 There were palm trees growing and it was not snowing
 And I never did shut my mouth
 We drove on over to the courthouse in downtown Los Angeles
 We put our hands on a bible and we
 swore as a family that we were not communists
 When we drove away, I started to cry
 They said, "What's wrong son, are you sick?"
 I said, "I don't wanna be an American; I wanna be a Catholic"
 We talked Hollywood, and baseball in the car
 The voice of Vin Scully; It would travel really far.
 I made my first communion in St Rita's Catholic Church
 There was incense choking and a priest
 was smoking; was a choir up in the perch
 My face got red, and my stomach felt bad
 They said, "if you're gonna get sick, use a cup"
 Well I thought by the time that it
 was my turn Jesus would be all eaten up
 We talked Hollywood, and baseball in the car
 The voice of Ernie Harwell; It would travel really far.
 My allergies were bad so we moved to
 the desert to a city called Palm Springs
 We trick-or-treated at Liberace's
 house; each finger had a diamond ring
 We met Elvis Presley in the middle of the
 summer; he hugged my sister for far too long.
 Well, it felt kinda weird,
 but I woulda pimped her out just to hear him sing a song
 We talked Hollywood, and baseball in the car
 The voice of Jack Buck; It would travel really far.
 Now, here I am, a grown up boy at home on the Fourth of July
 Staring out at the ocean and the fireworks in the sky
 I miss my friends who aren't around; the ones who passed away.
 Well, I'm feeling kind of grateful here on Independence Day
 We talk Hollywood, and baseball in the car
 The voice of Jerry Coleman; It would travel really far.
 I get allergies
 And asthma in the yard
 And no one ever told me
 Growing up would be so hard