Comedian

The saints came marching in this morning
 And they marched back out the door
 Wholly offended
 No pun intended
 They gave up God for Lent and liked it
 Declared Civilian War
 No one's relented
 No pun intended
 And I'll be doing stand-up
 Here all week
 I've learned to sign
 So the deaf can watch me speak
 The saints came marching back this evening
 And they fell right through the floor
 That number's ended
 No pun intended
 The Amen ner's marching orders
 Got nailed to my front door
 They're all amended
 No pun intended
 The King of the One Liners
 Had us thrilled
 Then came the punchline
 Now we want him killed
 And when he's gone
 Gone
 Who gets the mic
 If it's on?
 The buzzards are attacking
 Our prayer kites
 We lost the air war
 Now we're losing squatter's rights
 And when they're gone
 Gone
 We'll need a new
 Comedian
 Man makes plans, God laughs
 Man makes plans, God laughs
 Man makes plans, God laughs
 Man makes plans, God laughs
 The King and I began a feud
 That time will not erase
 Until he wipes that
 Omniscient smile
 Off his face
 The King and I are in a feud
 That time will not erase
 Until you wipe that
 Omniscient smile
 Off your face
 And when it's gone
 Gone
 It's open mic
 Is this on?
 And didn't I thank you from the dais?
 And didn't I do you good?
 And didn't I take up all your crosses
 That were made of balsa wood?
 I've kept my demons pent up so long
 The devil himself lost track
 I've since repented
 No pun intended
 We stormed the stage
 And occupied your place
 To wipe that all-forgiving smile
 Off your face
 It's been there so
 Long
 Please welcome back
 The first, the last
 Comedian
 Man makes plans, God laughs
 Man makes plans, God laughs
 Man makes plans, God laughs
 Man makes plans, God laughs
 Man makes plans, God laughs
 Man makes plans