September Gave Us Awkwardness, October Gave Me Nothing

thousand twinkling lights in a September night sky
 makes a heart filled with void
 remembers the aching of a loss, five years ago.
 and there you stood, just like a picture it seemed to me.
 and there you stood,
 the wind had gripped your pail hair and also caught my heart.
 and everything i didn't say echoes forever.
 you never saw how much you hurt me i guess. but then again,
 thousand twinkling lights in an October night sky
 makes my heart slowly wander and stumbles
 across the aching of a loss, two years ago.
 and the words as follow:
 "i can't help that i still miss
 those nights we spent speaking in silence"
 i've been waiting so long for a moment when i don't feel this way.
 i've been waiting for a moment when i no longer
 feel trapped inside this hollow body, when i'm at ease.
 all this years i've told myself to wait for it.
 maybe i feel better if i just wait for it.
 whenever you're around i shut my eyes and wait for it.
 i hope and wait, i just wait for it.
 but what if the moment never comes?
 will i be left with all my thoughts?
 what if i never can let go? will i ever get over you? will i ever?