I Aim to Misbehave

I'm a masochistic optimist scared of everything I'm up against
 And I can't find solid ground with my head up in the clouds
 Sometimes I don't wanna be here but I'm looking for acceptance
 Searching for some common sense in a bundle of contradictions
 And when your life is spent coping with living can you really call that living at all?
 And can you be sure that you have perspective while you're shielding your eyes from it all?
 So take me as I am
 And you can take my hand while I talk about the long run while I can barely stand
 And I'll make the best laid plans because this is who I am
 Just someone trying to make sense of what I don't understand
 I don't understand
 It's like a stress test to have a normal conversation
 Too much anger and frustration at the surface
 And all that I am basing this is being subpar at relationships
 And the toll that this is taking is obvious
 And when you spend your life coping with living can you really call that living at all?
 And can you make any progress with your back against the wall
 I'm the sum of my experience, plus all the places that I've been
 I hope that's enough in the end
 Divided by the pain I feel, plus all the love that makes this real
 I hope that's enough in the end
 In the end