Sweet Tranvestite

How d'you do,
 I see you've met my
 faithful handyman
 He's just a
 little brought down because
 when you knocked
 He thought you were the candyman.
 Don't get strung out
 by the way that I look,
 Don't judge a book by its cover
 I'm not
 much of a man by the light of day,
 But by night I'm one hell of a lover
 I'm just a Sweet Transvestite
 from Transexual,
 Transylvania.
 So let me show you around, maybe
 play you a sound
 You look like you're both pretty groovy
 Or if you want something visual
 that's not too abysmal
 We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.
 I'm glad we caught you at home,
 could we use your phone?
 We're both in a bit of a hurry.
 We'll just say where we are,
 then go back to the car
 We don't want to be any worry.
 Well so you got
 caught with a flat, well,
 how about that?
 Well babies,
 don't you panic.
 By the light of the night when it all seems alright
 I'll get you a satanic mechanic.
 I'm just a Sweet Transvestite
 from Transexual,
 Transylvania.
 So why don't you stay for the night?
 Or maybe a bite?
 I could show you my favourite obsession.
 I've been making a man with blond hair and a tan
 And he's good for relieving my tension
 I'm just a Sweet Transvestite
 from Transexual,
 Transylvania.
 I'm just a Sweet Transvestite
 from Transexual,
 Transylvania.
 So why you don't come up baby
 to my lab.
 And see what's on my slab.
 I see you shiver baby
 with antici... pation!
 But maybe the rain
 isn't really to blame
 So I'll remove
 the cause,
 but not the symptom.