Pirating the Seas

Me dad said I was evil when my youth had come to pass
 I had the disposition of a shark with painful gas
 Me mother told me piracy is what you'll need to pass
 So I told me mother thanks and I kicked me father's... well...
 It's a short, hard life when you do what we do
 Grabbing silver and gold and a little booty, too
 And how do you survive when you sail the ocean blue.
 Me mother said please, be sure and eat your peas
 To avoid the scurvies when you're pirating the seas.
 A pirate lives for killin', for blood and guts and gore
 Though when the day is over, you still need somethin' more
 But women were scarce when you signed to come aboard
 So you grab the cabin boy and you treat him like a... well...
 A cabin boy on his knees does what we please
 And he loves to appease when he's pirating the seas
 It's tough when your captain is damned insane
 He once steered our ship into a huge hurricane
 He ran up aloft to survey his domain
 The captain said, "freeze", pulled his pants to his knees
 Cause he likes to feel the breeze when he's pirating the seas.
 We ran across a merchantman and blew their mast apart
 They wouldn't give up, our gunner took it to heart.
 He gave a foul breeze not on the weather chart.
 They surrendered like France when he cut a smelly... well...
 We ignored their pleas, and stole their currencies
 And it stank like cheese, when you're pirating the seas.
 We sailed 'round Cape Horn where it's windy and cold
 To stay warm we gathered into a huddled mold
 Someone must have left his pants down in the hold
 'Cause I wasn't asked a question, but I certainly was polled... Uh... well...
 The cold makes you sneeze, sometimes you just freeze
 Frost bites your pee-pees, when you're pirating the seas.
 We're the worst enemies, we do what we please
 And everybody flees, when we're pirating the seas.