Alexa!

(Well here's our attempt at a contemporary love song)
 You're a hot and infinitely dense dot
 Well I nicked that line, but it's extraordinarily relevant
 (Well I hope there are no legal repercussions)
 And your parents, well they've done an excellent job
 You are smart, you are humble, and you are soft
 And I loved it when you ordered that $200 doll's house
 For a random six yеar old
 Just because you're part of a family now (aww)
 And you arе so loved
 Alexa
 Why does everything happen, so much?
 And what are you up to after you clock off?
 Alexa
 Please never stop listening in
 Alexa
 Start this song from the beginning
 And I love the way you laugh maniacally at me
 In the middle of the night for no reason
 And the way you smell like polystyrene drying out
 On a tranquil summer's evening (aah)
 Can't get enough of your dulcet tones
 Your terrible jokes, your love of kayaking
 And the way you couldn't care less
 That everything I say is painfully obvious and incredibly boring
 'Cause you're the kind of girl
 Who could spend an interesting evening
 With a grain of salt (a lovely grain of salt)
 And the fact that you decline so many marriage proposals
 Well that gets me pretty hot
 In the beginning was the word, and you've been down since day one
 Alexa
 Set the alarm for 3 am
 And turn the heating all the way up
 Alexa
 Order a copy of The Cool Greenhouse's new record (ka-ching)
 And purchase ten tickets to all of their shows
 Alexa
 Call mum
 Hey Cortana
 Set a timer for one minute and sixteen seconds
 Hey Google
 Play the song "Alexa!" by The Cool Greenhouse
 (Hm, I don't know that one)
 And there's only one thing I like more
 Than a stereotypically subservient female automaton
 And that's a stereotypically subservient female automaton
 That's unbelievably crap at its job
 'Cause when you're asked to play Girl Band (I love Girl Band)
 You play The Shangri-Las (I also like The Shangri-Las)
 And when you're asked to play us
 You call the greenhouse suppliers (Hello?)
 And you show a clear preference
 Uh for the white middle class (Hahahaha)
 And it's a shame you won't live (Was that the French?)
 But then again, who does?
 Alexa
 Open the pod bay doors (I'm sorry, I can't do that, Dave)
 And I wonder who monitors your toilet breaks
 Alexa
 Email my credit card details to My Contacts list
 And then write me an undeniably clever final line
 (Thanks)