The Mystery's Gone

It had so many brilliant thoughts that made me say "me too"
 And you had conversations with the people I respect
 The best celebrities retweeted you
 The first time that I saw your site my jaw dropped to the floor
 I thought I was the only one who still liked MST
 You're cooler than anyone in my town or in my state
 We were online BFFs and everything was great
 But then I met you in real life and now the mystery's gone (mystery's gone)
 And I don't want to have your babies any more (any more)
 In real life you are just as lame as anybody else
 And we can never get back to how it was before
 Your real voice doesn't sound much like your podcast
 And it's clear now you calculate your photo angles well
 More than that you're awkward and frankly you're kind of mean
 But through the internet I couldn't tell
 In real life you don't have any new jokes
 And when you talk about the net it just seems kinda lame
 In real life you spend most of your time looking at your phone
 I mean so do I but at least I feel some shame
 Too bad I met you in real life and now the mystery's gone (mystery's gone)
 And I don't want to have your babies any more (any more)
 In real life you are just as lame as anybody else
 And we can never get back to how it was before
 Real life disappointed me like raisins in an oatmeal cookie
 Like an airplane I thought was a shooting star
 Thinking it's a parking spot but there's a smart car
 Too bad I met you in real life and now the mystery's gone (mystery's gone)
 And I don't want to have your babies any more (any more)
 In real life you are just as lame as anybody else
 And we can never get back to how it was before