It's Been So Long

I don't know what I was thinking
 Leaving my child behind
 Now I suffer the curse and now I am blind
 With all this anger, guilt and sadness
 Coming to haunt me forever
 I can't wait for the cliff at the end of the river
 Is this revenge I am seeking?
 Or seeking someone to avenge me?
 Stuck in my own paradox, I wanna set myself free
 Maybe I should chase and find
 Before they'll try to stop it
 It won't be long before I'll become a puppet
 It's been so long
 Since I last have seen my son lost to this monster
 To the man behind the slaughter
 Since you've been gone
 I've been singing this stupid song so I could ponder
 The sanity of your mother
 ♪
 I wish I lived in the present
 With the gift of my past mistakes
 But the future keeps luring in like a pack of snakes
 Your sweet little eyes, your little smile is all I remember
 Those fuzzy memories mess with my temper
 Justification is killing me
 But killing isn't justified
 What happened to my son? I'm terrified
 It lingers in my mind
 And the thought keeps on getting bigger
 I'm sorry my sweet baby, I wish I've been there
 It's been so long
 Since I last have seen my son lost to this monster
 To the man behind the slaughter
 Since you've been gone
 I've been singing this stupid song so I could ponder
 The sanity of your mother