the common cold (the epidemic)

I am a hacking cough
 That tickle in your throat
 In an unmade bed in Mexico
 You will catch my cough, you will catch my cold
 Hey, hey, no one needs to know
 Just put it in your mouth
 No snail trails have blackened
 It's like it never happened
 I won't be a henpeck
 I'll infect it
 I've done so many bad things
 I never seem to get clean
 No pecking order please
 I've done too many bad things
 Come get it help yourself
 Come see it for yourself
 We're raising glasses high, dirty as all hell
 In sickness and health, in sickness and health
 So would you drink after me?
 I've been a good boy, I'm squeaky clean
 A pretty please in the motel, the snails without shells
 In sickness and health, in sickness and health
 
 ♪
 So don't be so alarmed
 You're being harvested and farmed
 Every time I continue to breathe
 You wipe your nose on my sleeve
 Every time I don't drive off a cliff
 Every time I don't chop off my lips
 I've been taken to swallowing pennies
 For the apocalypse that's surely coming
 
 Come get it, help yourself
 Come see it for yourself
 We're shaking rubber gloves up to the shelves in hell
 In sickness and health, in sickness and health
 So would you sleep where I sleep?
 In with the bed bugs and bad beliefs
 I don't mean to make it seem
 Like we're salmon upstream
 But are you afraid, are you afraid of me?