Words Written over Coffee

Pages filled cover the floor all covered up with ink
 Words written over coffee document my struggling
 Those mornings spent sitting alone mourning alone in grief
 For all I killed in search of honesty
 See I used to be a mustard seed shouting at the mountain
 I used to hang my head when it stayed far from the ocean
 I used to claim its failure and from the depths of depression
 I cried to god but god did not respond
 Like a barrel chested strongman I suspended disbelief
 I held it high over my head though all the weight was staggering
 But legs buckled and muscles burned, in came gravity
 I dropped it all, faced what I'd been avoiding
 For many years I walked that road, for many years I tried
 So earnestly I sought the relationship advertised
 But my empty hands, my empty heart, could no longer be denied
 Yeah I quit, I forfeit eternal life
 I did not take inheritance when I left to go away
 I did what was commanded when that rich man asked to be saved
 I left my friends my family behind all for heaven's sake
 I am no prodigal and this is no mistake
 So I'm sorry mom I'm sorry dad, I really want you to be proud
 Don't want to disappoint you all, don't want to let you down
 But I have stopped searching for truth hiding behind heaven's cloud
 Don't save my place, of this race I do bow out