The American Metaphysical Circus

At precisely eight-o-five
 Doctor Frederick von Meier
 Will attempt his famous dive
 Through a solid sheet of luminescent fire
 In the center of the ring
 They are torturing a bear
 And although he cannot sing
 We can make him whistle Londonderry Air
 ♪
 And the price is right
 The cost of one admission is your mind
 We shall shortly institute
 A syntopicon of fear
 While it's painful, it will suit
 Many customers whose appetites are queer
 Or for those who wish to pay
 There are children you can bleed
 In a most peculiar way
 We can give you all the instruments you'll need
 ♪
 And the price is right
 The cost of one admission is your mind
 ♪
 If you're harder yet to please
 We have most delightful dreams
 Our recorders will preserve
 The intensity and passion of your screams
 For we only aim to please
 It's our customers who gain
 As their appetites increase
 They must come to us for pleasure and for pain
 And the price is right
 The cost of one admission is your mind