As the Romans Do

I bought a Tascam reel and a cast iron pan
 A flask of Tequila, a fountain pen
 A sexy typewriter, from way back when
 I bid a fond farewell to my bestest friends
 I packed my possessions in a U-Haul van
 I soared, like a sailor to the promised land
 Once I saw the aqueducts and statues,
 I knew what I had to do
 I'd do,
 Do as the Romans, do
 
 Do as the Romans, do
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 I found a one-bedroom with a bird's eye view
 Rode the F train to second avenue
 Where the bath house was bumpin' the dubstep blues
 Swingin'
 They're sipping cane sugar sodas for top shelf booze
 Mix Ralph Lauren togas with thrift-shop shoes
 Meeting 9 to 5 quotas with a-nothin to lose
 They like to see pictures
 They like captions
 They like songs with lots of 'oooos'
 That's how you do,
 Do as the Romans, do
 
 Do as the Romans, do
 Do as the Romans, do
 ♪
 Do as the Romans, do
 ♪
 Sing with the sirens
 What do they tell you?
 Isn't it lovely
 When they scream?
 ♪
 I showed up to the alley with my tin pan
 With a middle finger stickin it to the man
 But the miners in the alley traded tin pans
 For the Silicon Valley and a business plan
 So I tattooed my face onto my hand
 And unto my own image I built a brand
 Now as soon as I have a million faceless fans
 That's when I'mma start movin' those cheap head bands
 They like to see pictures,
 They like captions,
 They like songs with lots of
 Talk about my social status, add me to your list, I want to
 These days we build empires in much
 Less than one day, oh yes it's true
 And you can too
 As long as you do,
 Do as the Romans, do
 
 Do as the Romans, do
 
 Do as the Romans, do
 Do as the Romans, do
 Do as the Romans
 Do as the Romans
 Do as the Romans
 Do as the Romans
 Do as the Romans
 Do as the Romans
 Do as the Romans
 Do as the Romans, do