Number One (In New York)

Salvage yard scavenging, bent over backwards
 The caverns are vast
 And packed to the rafters with decaying corpses
 Of course it's important
 Pertinent details from primary sources
 The voices are louder than ever before
 Sticking forks into four-legged horses
 Deplorable forces conspire to fire the lord
 And to hire a guy who will try to eat more of the portions
 A guy who's more boorish, a guy who's more selfish
 With elves as his helpers
 Hopeless hapless masses are dopes, they suppose
 It's the same old rigamarole that we know
 It's as bold as a rodeo
 Run with the bulls
 All the bullshit is so, so disposable
 Open wounds, broken bones
 Choking from smoking these Marlboro hundreds
 Dysfunctional, fuck up in front of the public
 Dublin is so far away
 It's disgusting the way that these laymen conduct their discussions
 But it's fun to disrupt if you're cussing enough
 Then I call my own bluff, push my luck
 Hungry husbands are smuggling in drugs
 With their blood bubbling, boiling
 Recoil from the touch of the boys in the club
 Noise erupts from the speakers
 They scream from the bleachers
 Creatures in need of a teacher
 The reason is clear as a really bleached t-shirt
 The fever is reaching its peak
 The deceivers are speaking of peace like it's reachable
 The evil are peeking through cracks in the steeple
 Believe it, it's real, 'tis the season
 I'm breathing in poison, chest heaving
 Can't even conceive of the next best thing
 "Arrest these heathens!
 Forget the trial, lock 'em up, toss the key"
 Dot the T's, cross the I's, lots of apostrophes
 Coughing up boxes of bucks
 To stay lost in the fog of this obnoxious process
 My conscience is quiet, ensconced in the tarpit
 Cover the garden with carpet
 Forget and get onto the starship
 We're off to another dimension
 The rent's too expensive here
 Spent my whole pension improving my penmanship
 When does it get any closer to ending?
 And can I just mention the stench?
 It's relentless when in the presence of elegant gentlemen
 The villains have taken their vengeance
 I regret to say they've collected the evidence
 Repent and pretend every entrance is open to tenants with references
 Declare myself president of the emptiness
 Say I'm Rembrandt of dancing on the precipice
 Eleven years in and trying to stay relevant
 But based on what's left of the remnants of my intestines
 I would guess I've ingested the medicine
 Yes, I've been everywhere
 But everywhere that I've been
 I've been out of my element, even in my own skin
 And I can't begin to think what I'd tell people back home
 So I tell it to the microphone
 (I tell it to the microphone)
 I tell it to the microphone
 (I tell it to the microphone)
 I can't leave the life alone
 (I can't leave the life alone)
 I can't leave the life alone – yeah
 I tell it to the microphone
 (I tell it to the microphone)
 I tell it to the microphone
 (I tell it to the microphone)
 I can't leave the life alone
 (I can't leave the life alone)
 I can't leave the life alone – yeah