Flash, Bang, Wallop

All lined up in a wedding group
 'Ere we are for a photograph
 We're all dressed up in a morning suit
 All trying hard not to laugh
 Since the early caveman in his fur
 Took a trip to Gretna Green
 There's always been a photographer
 To record the 'appy scene
 'Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
 What a picture, what a photograph
 Poor old soul, blimey, what a joke
 Hat blown off in a cloud of smoke
 Clap 'ands, stamp yer feet
 Bangin' on the big bass drum
 What a picture, what a picture
 Um-tiddly-um-pum-pum-pum-pum
 Stick it in your fam'ly album
 The same thing 'appened long ago
 When man was in his prime
 And what went on we only know
 From the snaps he took at the time
 When Adam and Eve in their birthday suit decided to get wed
 As Adam was about to taste the fruit
 The man with the cam'ra said
 'Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
 What a picture, what a photograph
 Poor old Eve, there with nothing on
 Face all red and 'er fig leaf gone
 Clap 'ands, stamp yer feet
 Bangin' on the big bass drum
 What a picture, what a picture
 Um-tiddly-um-pum-pum-pum-pum
 Stick it in your fam'ly album
 You've read it in a folio
 Or seen it in a Shakespeare play
 How Juliet fell for Romeo
 In the merry month of May
 And as 'e climbed the orchard wall to reach 'is lady fair
 As he tumbled, she began to bawl
 As he travelled through the air
 'Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
 What a picture, what a photograph
 Poor young chap, what a night 'e spent
 Tights all torn and 'is rapier bent
 Clap 'ands, stamp yer feet
 Bangin' on the big bass drum
 What a picture, what a picture
 Um-tiddly-um-pum-pum-pum-pum
 Stick it in your fam'ly album
 'Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
 What a picture, what a photograph
 Poor young chap, what a night 'e spent
 Tights all torn and 'is rapier bent
 Clap 'ands, stamp yer feet
 Bangin' on the big bass drum
 What a picture, what a picture
 Um-tiddly-um-pum-pum-pum-pum
 Stick it in your fam'ly album
 Stick it in your fam'ly
 Stick it in your fam'ly
 Stick it in your fam'ly album