Tango: Maureen

The samples won't delay, but the cable
 There's another way
 Say something, anything
 Test, one, two, three
 Anything but that
 This is weird (it's weird)
 Very weird (fuckin' weird)
 I'm so mad that I don't know what to do
 Fighting with microphones
 Freezing down to my bones
 And to top it all off, I'm with you
 Feel like going insane?
 Got a fire in your brain?
 And you're thinking of drinking gasoline?
 As a matter of fact
 Honey, I know this act
 It's called the "Tango: Maureen"
 The "Tango: Maureen"
 It's a dark, dizzy merry-go-round
 As she keeps you dangling (you're wrong)
 Your heart, she is mangling (it's different, with me)
 And you toss and you turn
 'Cause her cold eyes can burn
 Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound
 I think I know what you mean
 The "Tango: Maureen"
 Has she ever pouted her lips and called you "pookie"? (Never)
 Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?
 This is spooky
 Did you swoon when she walked through the door?
 Every time, so be cautious
 Did she moon over other boys?
 More than moon
 I'm getting nauseous
 ♪
 Where'd you learn to tango?
 With the French Ambassador's daughter, in her dorm room at Miss Porter's
 And you?
 With Nanette Himmelfarb, the Rabbi's daughter at the Scarsdale Jewish Community Center
 It's hard to do this backwards
 You should try it in heels
 ♪
 She cheated (she cheated)
 Maureen cheated (fuckin' cheated)
 I'm defeated, I should give up right now
 Gotta look on the bright side with all of your might
 I'd fall for her still, anyhow
 When you're dancing her dance
 You don't stand a chance
 Her grip of romance makes you fall
 So you think, might as well
 Dance a tango to hell
 At least I'll have tangoed at all
 The "Tango: Maureen"
 Gotta dance 'til your diva is through
 You pretend to believe her
 'Cause in the end, you can't leave her
 But the end it will come
 Still you have to play dumb
 'Til you're glum and you bum
 And turn blue
 Why do we love when she's mean?
 And she can be so obscene
 My Maureen
 The "Tango: Maureen"