Messy - Extended Version

Had nice things but I broke 'em all
 And now I'm screaming at my crystal ball
 When did it get so heavy?
 And how the hell did I get so messy?
 Tunnel vision, yeah, I shut you out
 Yeah, I'm sorry that I let you down
 When did it get so heavy?
 And how the hell did I get so messy?
 The sun is up but I just don't wanna face it
 I found my phone but I lost my motivation
 Took all my big dreams and threw 'em in the basement
 20-something, yeah, I'm running out of options
 Running from these demons in my old Doc Martens
 Mixing all my problems up with grenadine
 I try, but I just can't get it right
 Had nice things but I broke 'em all
 And now I'm screaming at my crystal ball
 When did it get so heavy?
 And how the hell did I get so messy?
 Tunnel vision, yeah, I shut you out
 Yeah, I'm sorry that I let you down
 When did it get so heavy?
 And how the hell did I get so messy?
 I keep my medication underneath my pillow
 Anxiety hanging over my head just like a halo
 I'm too afraid to see the world so I just lay low
 I lay awake and try to tell myself a story
 But even all my fantasies are pretty fucking boring
 That's why I fill my cup and I feel it in the morning