Hate Song

Momma always said that hate was a strong, strong word
 Poppa always said that words of hate should never be heard
 But I'm getting older and I just cannot lie
 There are things I hate, no matter how hard I try
 I hate traffic, I hate dirt in my eyes
 I hate spiders, and I hate girlfriends that lie
 I hate cancer, I hate cauliflower pie
 But most of all, I hate my ex-girlfriend's new guy, I hate that guy
 The good book says that we should love everyone
 And I'm doing my best, but it's easier said than done
 This new guy was a good friend of mine before
 Caught him with my girl in his mustang ford
 I hate taxes, I hate stink bugs and flies
 I hate rug burns, and I hate polka-dot ties
 I hate Mike Tyson, 'cause he'll bite your ear then bust you in the eye
 But most of all, I hate my ex-girlfriend's new guy, I hate that guy
 I was sittin' down by myself, I was having a coke
 I heard someone laughing real loud at a real dumb joke
 I recognized the voice so I turned around
 It was my ex-girlfriend's new guy, can't stand that clown
 He walked up to me with a really sorry look on his face
 And he said, man I done you wrong but now she's gone and I've been replaced
 I know I don't deserve to have you as a friend because I played the fool
 But I'm really hurtin' man, can I just pull up a stool
 So he started crying and saying how he loved that girl
 She got with a new guy and it rocked his world
 He asked me how I dealt with it when she dumped me
 And I said, I just talked about stuff I hate man, it's like therapy
 And he said, really, I said yeah, yeah, give it a shot go ahead
 I hate pimples, I hate hemorrhoids and hives
 I hate funerals, I hate unsalted fries
 I hate Britney spears because she never returns any of the letters that I Write
 But most of all, I hate my ex-girlfriend's new guy
 Wouldn't mind if someone huge fell on his head and he died
 Like a bus, or a truck, or a meteorite
 A hippopotamus, a rhinoceros or even a pig if it was falling fast from a great height
 Ooo, I hate that guy