Follow up

It's been a few months since I first wrote that song
 And I've realized a couple of things
 That the summers matured me
 But what's so appealing?
 My heart still hasn't moved along
 And I
 I think that I long for you like my mom did with my dad
 I think she still does
 What does that make us?
 And my perception of love?
 And I sound like a victim
 When really, I'm just holding on
 To something that's gone
 Something never was
 Existent
 But I guess I've been painting and trying to read
 But really just drink tea
 And cry in my sleep
 Over him, over her, everything that's occurred in my life
 I should really start applying and trying to dream
 Of the lives that I'd love to live
 Past seventeen
 But for now I'll just mourn
 The past versions of me
 Every version of me
 The past
 The past is past
 It's past
 The past