AUDIT

I've got a business, I've got a lovely wife
 Everything I could want, I've got a perfect life
 It's like you're hardly working when it's something you love
 A brain of calculation, its heart, an abacus
 But I think I'd be lying if I didn't say this
 I've got a way with words, but not a way with emotions
 I've got a silver bullet, I've got a self-prescription
 I say, "hand me one more drink," you call it an addiction
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 I open up the bottle, let inhibition go
 Maybe I shouldn't, though
 I know I shouldn't, though
 If it becomes a problem, if it seeps in my bones
 Nobody has to know
 Nobody has to know
 I've got a business, I've got a lovely wife
 Maybe I lie a little, but I'm doing alright
 I say that I'll get better, I say I'm trying to quit
 But if you know me, you would know I'm faking it
 It's only twice a day, then three, then four, then five
 It's not like it'll kill me, it makes me feel alive
 At least I thought that it did, don't let them know I told you this
 But I don't know how to resist, I hate my own excuses
 Choking on desolation, sip on the amaretto
 Won't make me better, though
 I won't get better, though
 I can stop when I want to, I still have self control
 But I'll never say no
 But I'll never say no
 I know I fucked it all up, I'm not a perfect man
 But I swear I'll get better, this isn't who I am
 It's really not your problem, you shouldn't give a damn
 You don't know how I'm feeling, so don't try to understand
 Past 60 on the dashboard, past .08 in my blood
 I'm feeling kinda funny, all common sense undone
 Swerving all over the road, got children in the back
 How are we gonna get home?
 I'm really sorry, Jack, I-
 The crashing sound of metal, the bleeding from my nose
 I'm so stupid, I know
 Fucking awful, I know
 The iron taste in my mouth mixes with the merlot
 They won't breathe anymore
 They won't breathe anymore
 I've really done it this time, where's there for me to go?
 God damn it, I don't know
 How could I ever know?
 A shallow grave from my hands, flesh, blood, down below
 Pick up, pick up the phone
 Pick up, pick up the phone