The Incident

Oi, oi, stop, come back, you
 I was instrumental in creating the company
 A founding father of the movement, some say
 Had a hundred youngsters under my guidance at any one time
 Willing to learn, eager to please
 And salaried with the implicit threat of an instant dismissal
 (Oi, I'm warning you)
 All legal mind, hey
 Meager scraps for tender prey
 But everybody gotta learn some time and you learn that the hard way
 In the bustling hive of activity known as my
 As my holy global enterprise
 We created rules that you can't find in the book
 A different type of prison for a brand new type of crook
 Hey, feed me, my mind is greedy, massage my ego
 And read to me, slow stories from my youth
 Just like the Beano, colonial overtones, I know, hey, but so what
 I like the plot and the way the colors pop from the page
 Don't have to justify my rage
 Being a hypocrite does not devalue the merit of the accusations made
 Everybody's got dirt on everybody else in this day and age, mind
 (Come back you little bastard)
 I look good, dead good, too good, good for my age
 But if I'm not on the receiving end of never-ending compliments
 My thinking implement is bound to be in a constant state of discontent
 And I'm hellbent on expanding my heaven-sent empire, ethically
 But not at my own expense, no
 Peaking through the hole in the neighbor's fence
 It all looks pretty good
 Just don't look under the hood
 The engine is completely caked in snake oil and old mud
 I need something new to perk me up, because
 If I'm not pumped up, I'm impotent, I'm dead wood
 I'm dead wood
 And we don't want to repeat the same thing happening again
 I want to be relevant, I don't want to be a dud
 We created rules that you can't find in the book
 A different type of prison for a brand new type of crook
 Ever since the incident, my complete incompetence
 Has been exposed to everyone and rendered me irrelevant
 We created rules that you can't find in the book
 A different type of prison for a brand new type of crook
 Ever since the incident, my complete incompetence
 Has been exposed to everyone and rendered me irrelevant
 ♪
 I'm irrelevant
 I'm irrelevant
 I'm irrelevant
 I'm irrelevant
 I'm irrelevant
 I'm irrelevant
 I'm irrelevant
 I'm irrelevant
 Ever since the incident
 My complete incompetence
 Has been exposed to everyone
 And rendered me irrelevant
 I'm irrelevant
 I'm irrelevant
 I'm irrelevant
 I'm irrelevant