Drop Bars

I drop bars so fast you'll be poppin' your neck
 As you whip your head, following the Doppler effect
 Lemme stop for a sec
 "Dropping bars" means "rapping"
 You copy, correct?
 OK, just a glossary check. All right then
 Lemme switch gears and invite you to picture an item
 Everybody envision a bicycle
 With the handlebars that are the type that you'll
 See curvin' around and down low-like
 The kind you'll find on most road bikes
 And I won't steer you false, no
 Those are called "drop bars" also
 So I wrote and I composed this
 Ode devoted to the dopest components
 Drop-bar handles are the topic and
 I'm about to put it down like a kickstand
 Yo I had to drop bars about drop bars
 Had to drop drop-bar bars
 On the left and on the right
 The front and the back
 I want it hot tonight
 I want hands to clap
 When I rock the mike
 With bike handle raps
 And I drop bars, about drop bars
 OK, stop. Wait. Please hold up
 Deeply sorry to interrupt
 I'm also Zach Sherwin
 But not the one from the last verse, I'm a more mature version
 And I wanna say to myself:
 Okay, that drop bar thing is a cute wordplay
 But I gotta take a critical dig at this drivel
 It's trivial and frivolous!
 Why pick topics like these when
 You could talk about the reasons you're a vegan
 Open up about your relationships or even
 Opine with a dope rhyme about current events?
 Choose to sink your teeth deep into
 Chewy themes with true meaning you believe in!
 Get inspired! When you drop bars, set the bar higher!
 And don't drop bars about drop bars.
 Raise the bar when you drop bars!
 When they drop the beat, don't drop the ball
 With some wacky rap that's off the wall
 Are bike handles important? Not at all!
 Raise the bar above dropping drop-bar bars!
 Haaaang on. Pause one second
 I'm Zach 3 and I just gotta step in
 And say to number 2, "You were on the right track
 Until that chorus when you fell right back
 On the same old crutch! You couldn't resist!
 You had a good point but you had to put a clever little
 Twist on it. Lapse into absurdism;
 You're trapped in a word prison."
 Now at this point you'd make the joke
 That if you were in word prison,
 You wouldn't wanna drop, the bar, of soap
 But am I gonna stoop that low? Um... nope
 Guys? Zach number 4. Hi. Hey number 3? Nice try,
 But even YOU couldn't restrain your brain from a pun -
 So don't front like you refrained
 But look, I get it! I see where you're at!
 You want less whimsy in your act
 Wanna get away from language games to be more relevant;
 Well, it's great to develop and change
 But fella don't trip
 For life you're equipped with a verbal-quip microchip
 So it really doesn't matter if you'd rather be discussing what "matters"
 Because this is what your gray matter does automatically
 So don't detest yourself, man - accept yourself and
 Express what's there, even if you couldn't care less
 At least now you'll be doing it with self-awareness
 Double down on the drop-bar raps
 Dedicate yourself to performing the task as well as it can be done
 Here's Zach 5, who's also Zach number 1...
 Whether you're an amateur or in the Tour De France you will
 Affirm that drop bars are for sure phenomenal
 Superb equipment with a curve and dip that getcha
 Sittin' in a position that's ergonomical
 They're so aerodynamic
 Man you can exceed the speed at which an arrow flies, dammit
 You can be a winner, eat anybody for dinner
 But be careful if you ride 'em on the road and you're a beginner
 They're a bit of an adjustment
 But you're gonna fly on 'em once you're accustomed
 You'll be goin' quick not slow like the hip-hop flow
 In my jam about the handles with the grip dropped low.
 Had to drop bars, about drop bars
 Had to drop drop-bar bars
 On the left and on the right
 The front and the back
 I want it hot tonight
 I need hands to clap
 When I rock the mike
 With bike handle raps
 And I drop, bars, about, drop, bars.