Oh Actually

Hey, guys
 Hey, what's up?
 I just got off the phone with Damien
 He broke his leg
 He's not gonna be able to compete in this year's mathlete tournament
 Oh, fuck
 Aw, what are we gonna do?
 We gotta find a fourth member
 Who?
 I don't know
 What about that guy?
 That guy over there?
 You know, I've heard some good things about that guy
 I heard that guy fucks
 Oh, actually, I'm dumb as fuck
 I'm in the twelfth grade and I still can't fuck
 I'm stupid, no one talks to me
 I'm in the twelfth grade and I still can't fuck
 You got that guy as my replacement?
 Yeah, uh, what's the problem
 He's supposed to be, like, super smart
 I used to hang out with that guy
 He had some kinda weird issues
 Like what?
 Like my dad, he just wanted to kick the shit out of him
 Oh, actually, you're kinda right
 Your mom's real cool, but your dad ain't tight
 He's old, and he fucks with me
 Every time I come over, he tells me some dumb joke and I don't get it
 So I stand at the front of the—at the door
 And I'm trying to figure out what the fuck the joke meant
 And now we're awkwardly standing there
 So you have to butt in and bail me out
 And then we slowly walk to your room
 Don't look your dad in the eyes
 Won't look your dad in the eyes
 Don't look your dad in the
 Never look a dad, never look a dad
 Never look a dad, never look a dad in the eyes
 In the eyes
 (What'd you say?)
 Never look a dad, never look a dad, never look a
 Never look a dad, never look a dad in the eyes
 (Okay)
 Don't look your dad in the eyes
 (I won't)
 ♪
 I'm on a need-to-know basis
 A need-to-know basis
 I'm on a need-to-know basis
 Do you know my bassist?
 Need-to-know basis
 Need-to-know basis
 I'm on a need-to-know basis
 Do you know my bassist?
 Bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum
 Bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum
 Hey, this is Damien
 I can't come to the phone right now
 Please leave a message
 Unless it's that guy, in which case
 Don't leave anything, stop calling me
 Oh, actually, you wanna fight?
 Shit, okay, parking lot tonight
 I'll bring my boys with me, you bring your dad with you
 And all us are gonna fuckin' go at it, bitch
 I'm gonna beat the shit out of your dad
 And make you watch as he watches you cry
 'Cause we're all gonna be kicking your dad's ass
 ♪
 Dude, where are you?
 We were supposed to meet up at my house to study
 I sent you the practice problems, just do them
 Please, please focus, you're supposed to be smart
 And you better not be working on that fucking
 Need-to-know basis song
 I'm on a need-to-know basis
 A need-to-know basis
 I'm on a need-to-know basis
 Do you know my bassist?
 Need-to-know basis
 Need-to-know basis
 I'm on a need-to-know basis
 Do you know my bassist?
 Bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum
 Bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum
 Bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum
 Bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum
 Bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum
 Bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum
 Bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum
 Bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum
 Bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum
 Bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum, bwum
 Alright, the final problem has just been posted
 Currently holding the lead is P. Montine
 Followed by Valley and Jefferson High
 Last place is Godwin High
 As you know, my son Damien could not compete
 'Cause he just broke his leg
 Dude, what is the matter with you?
 You haven't gotten a single problem—
 Shut the fuck—fuck you and fuck your shitty dad
 That's not my dad, that's Damien's dad!
 Alright, 30 seconds left
 Stop staring at him, what are you doing?
 Fuck, I looked him in the eye
 God dammit, I'm about to lose it
 Hi, about to lose it, I'm Damien's dad
 Noooo!