Join the Dead

Falling head over heels in pain
 Wondering what could have led to this mistake
 Black washes over me
 I cannot see, this cannot be
 Yet I know what I have done
 Can't take this back, I am to blame
 No, this was not my fault
 What of my friends or family?
 What'd they do to deserve this
 Neglected me, felt only a passive love for me
 I refuse to believe
 This so called life was not
 Just passing time until the end
 Choose based on others' choices
 Live based on others' morals
 Failure to follow suit
 Leads only to painful punishment
 I chose instead to join the dead
 I hear them calling me
 I won't be fooled, they never cared
 Never
 Ignore the plethora of
 Sweet nothings and hollow offers
 Quiet
 Respond with catatonic
 Blank stares, false smiles
 Fall
 Become enraptured with
 This endless void I now have joined
 Keep falling until timeless sleep
 I refuse to believe
 This so called life was not
 Just passing time until the end
 Choose based on others' choices
 Live based on others' morals
 Failure to follow suit
 Leads only to painful punishment
 I chose instead to join the dead
 As I continue
 To fall into the black
 I'm so surprised
 To find I haven't died
 A glance overhead
 Reveals a far off light
 I now suspect
 This may not be the end
 Flung into the void
 Must I now sow what I've reaped?
 Am I now fated to fall forevermore?
 Is this the end or the beginning?
 Tumbling again and again and again
 Hurtling towards an unknown destination
 Crash landing, terra firma
 Breathing dark air, seeing nothing
 Hearing harsh screaming
 Of unknown and yet close origin
 Breathless and broken
 Blameless and beaten
 Loss of consciousness
 Tunneling vision
 Red pain and choked tears
 Freed now at last
 Like so many fallen stars
 Forgotten once moments passed
 This shambling withered husk
 Joins the dead
 As I no longer
 Fall into the black
 This lifeless body
 Rests on the hard cold earth
 It finds no comfort
 In such a dreamless sleep
 Laying in gentle repose
 As all the others weep
 I refuse to believe
 This so called life was not
 Just passing time until the end
 Choose based on others' choices
 Live based on others' morals
 Failure to follow suit
 Leads only to painful punishment
 I chose instead to join the dead