never got better

Please don't ask me
 How I've been doin'
 'Cause I don't wanna lie to you
 I've felt like me the last few weeks
 But if I start talking, I'll think about the shit I've been through
 Then I'll be knee-deep in those
 Feelings I've been trying so hard to escape
 But oh, God, now, it's too late
 Suddenly I'm right back in it, shaking and scared to death
 I feel it pounding up in my chest, one second, step back
 And I just can't hold it together
 I'm back reliving, trying to catch my breath, I miss it
 End up back in my head, my prison
 Hope I'm not on the edge like this forever
 'Cause every time that I remember
 It's like I never got better at all
 At square one and it takes months
 Until I feel normal, but, one day, if I scroll back too far
 The photos put me in those
 Feelings I've been trying so hard to escape
 But oh, God, now, it's too late
 And suddenly I'm right back in it, shaking and scared to death
 I feel it pounding up in my chest, one second, step back
 And I just can't hold it together
 I'm back reliving, trying to catch my breath, I miss it
 End up back in my head, my prison
 Hope I'm not on the edge like this forever
 'Cause every time that I remember
 It's like I never got better at all
 ♪
 Ten steps backwards without a warning
 I push it down 'til I can't ignore it
 Crying on the floor
 I've been here before
 Suddenly I'm right back in it, shaking and scared to death
 I feel it pounding up in my chest, one second
 Step back, and I just can't hold it together
 I'm back reliving, trying to catch my breath, I miss it
 End up back in my head, my prison
 Hope I'm not on the edge like this forever
 Try to keep on gettin' better movin' forward every time that I fall
 But every time that I remember, it's like I never got better at all