You Too & Stuff

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, Brian Regan!: Cheering:
 Brian: Alright, How ya doin' folks?: Feedback:
 It's like you're al sittin' there, "Hey pal, you got some jokes?": Laughing:
 "Why don't you start crankin' 'em out, circus boy?: Laughing:
 It's good to be here.
 Just tryin' to go through life without looking stupid...: Laughing:
 It's not workin' out too well...: Laughing:
 Sometimes you'll say the wrong thing at the right time and feel stupid.
 Somethin' like, "You tow!": Laughing:
 I was gettin' out of a cab at the airport and the ddriver goes, "Hey have a nice flight!"
 "You tow!": Laughing:
 "You too, you have a nice flight too, in case you ever fly someday.": Laughing:
 "Don't even look at me, I'm a moron.": Laughing:
 Don't know when to say the "You too" phrase.: Laughing:
 Can't handle it.: Laughing:
 I never learn, you know. A waitress will bring my meal. "Hey, enjoy your meal."
 "You tow!": Laughing:
 "But you don't have one, do ya? I'm a dufus!": Laughing:
 "If you do eat, enjoy it when you eat it if you have a break or something, later!": Laughing:
 "If you get an opportunity, that's all I'm tryin' to say!": Laughing:
 "That's all that I'm drivin' at, really! If you think about it...": laughing:
 "...That's all.": Laugihng:
 You ever start to say somethin' and in the middle of what you're sayin' you decide to say somethin' else, completely?: Laughing:
 You know, there's already words out there.: Laughing:
 These friends were leaving the other day and I started to say, "Hey, take care!" And I decided to say "Good luck!" Instead like halfway through, you know.: Laughing:
 So it came out neither, "See you later, Brian!"
 "Take... luck!": Laughing:
 "Take luck and care... take... care of the luck. Good luck take care of the... the luck that you might have.": Laughing:
 "If you have luck, take it, care for it. Take luck care of it... when you take luck care of...": Brian shouting gibberish:: Laughing:
 Be sure you're seein' them again...: Laughing:
 "So how do you know that guy back ther, huh?": Laughing:
 I'm always puttin' my foot in my mouth.
 I don't stop to think, you know, "Oh no, words are coming out! Oh no!": Laughing:
 "I'm not thinkin' of what I said!": Laughing:
 Like I met this woman recently, I could've sworn she was pregnant. Let me tell ya.: Crowd "Aw"s:
 I know now...: Laughing:
 I think the rule is, "Don't guess at that, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever...": Laughing:
 Somethin' like that. When you have enough "evers" memorized, you know?
 So I say, "Hey, when's that BA-by due?!"
 You ever feel a word coming out but it's to late to stop it?: Laughing:
 It's... it's comin' out and loud, "Oh hey when's that BA-by due?! BABY?!": Laughing:
 "What baby?": Weird Authentic Brian Regan Sounds:: Laughing:
 "At the zoo! That... the pandas!": Laughing:
 "The neigbors are tryin' to have one, you know. Thought we'd talk about. Talk about the... fluffy zoo animals. I hear they get them over there, you can... you know, look at 'em...": Laughing:
 "If you want... touch 'em...": Laughing:
 Have you ever guessed somebody's gender wrong? 'Cause no recoverin' from that!": Laughing:
 You just gotta move on 'cause you aint wrigglin' outta nothin', ya know?: Laughing:
 "Hey uh, excuse me sir?"
 "Ma'am!"
 "Ok!": Laughing:
 "Ok, bye! Bye human!": Laughing:
 "Bye, person!
 Nice to mmet you, individual!": Laughing:
 I can't remeber names...
 And I'm always tryin' to do the nickname thing to get out of it, everybody knows what you're tryin' to pull, you know?
 "Hey... Buckaroo?...": Laughing:
 "My name's not Buckaroo."
 "Sure, sure it is, Pardner?...": Laughing:
 Some people get really upset if you get their names wrong,
 especially is they have a name that's similar to another name.
 Carolin and Caroline.
 They got a thing about that, man.
 Don't get that wrong, 'cause they're gonna drill ya!: Laughing:
 "Hey Carol... in?"
 "It's CaroLINE. It's CaroLINE Brian...": Laughing:
 "It's BriON!": Laughing:
 "Yes, my name is BRION! It's very hard to say my name correctly!": Laughing:
 "Cause my name is BRIONNGA!": Laughing:
 Can you say that? Very few can...
 Correctly.: Laughing:
 END