Where's Your Kilt

Father, Oh father, god rest his soul
 No he's not dead but he's really old
 Father, oh father don't act so hurt
 Just because your son won't wear a skirt
 Maybe it's just a generational thing
 But me I need pants where my underthing swings and it sways
 Father's not too happy 'bout my choice of clothes
 Says I'm turning my back and I'm shunning my nose
 But he fought in wars and he wrestles bears
 And me I get nervous in wobbly chairs
 And he's macho in ways that I can't comprehend
 So I'm confused by the message he's trying to send when he says
 If your Scottish where's your kilt
 If your catholic where's your guilt
 Their two traditions
 One as old as time
 If you want to make me proud
 If you call yourself McCloud
 Son if you don't wear a kilt
 You're no son of mine
 He made me wear a kilt on my first day of school
 Ninth graders unite
 Boys in kilts aren't cool
 So I changed my schools and I changed my name
 And sure it's extreme
 But it sure beats the shame
 And I've spent my whole life just running away
 And it's time to admit that my name's not Jose Santa Fe
 And if your Scottish where's your kilt
 If your catholic where's your guilt
 Their two traditions
 One as old as time
 If you want to make me proud
 If you call yourself McCloud
 Son if you don't wear a kilt
 You're no son of mine
 Now that I'm older I'm getting the joy
 Of doing anything it takes to embarrass my boy
 Number one on my list of traditions to build
 Is to take off my pants and to put on a kilt
 Now the answer my friend is blowing in the wind
 When I look at my dad we both a grinning a grin and we say
 If your Scottish where's your kilt
 If your catholic where's your guilt
 They're two traditions
 One as old as time
 If you want to make me proud
 If you call yourself McCloud
 Son if you don't wear a kilt
 You good for nothing
 Little bastard
 You're no son of mine
 You good for nothing
 Little Bastard
 You'd better run and hide
 You good for nothing
 Little bastard
 You're no son of mine
 You good for nothing
 Little Bastard
 You'd better run and hide
 You good for nothing
 Little bastard
 You're no son of mine
 You good for nothing
 Little Bastard
 You'd better run and hide