no one is reliable

Recently been going under
 Colder than the tundra
 You be sleeping on me slumber
 Only want to give you the cucumber
 Wouldn't give my heart
 I won't give my brain
 Used to think that I was smart
 Swear to God, I've gone insane
 In times I lack awareness
 What some others call careless
 Rarely I get embarrassed
 Based on other peoples standards
 Not the type of dude to pander
 Though they don't like my candor
 I'm tryna be myself in a world full of cancer
 Keep it brief
 Chase relief
 From the pain and the stress
 Ran away, I never left
 You know I'm sad you never guessed
 I regressed so far
 Pushed too hard that I dropped my guard
 Now my hearts in shards
 Grown numb for the world
 Numb for the pain
 Dumb for the girls
 Use my dick for a brain
 If it don't go well, ain't got nothing to say
 Guess it's all my fault, best be walking away
 Miss the good times
 I miss the old days
 I know my head spins when the Earth rotates
 And my thoughts crowd, but they ain't got no space
 I've been telling myself that it's okay
 But it's not though
 I was at the top floor
 And then I jumped off and I cracked my skull
 Down onto the pavement
 I ain't been the same since
 For this world I ain't ever had the patience
 Love to tell me what I lack
 Like it's a matter of fact
 You're jumping to conclusions don't expect me to react
 One time I had a good thing but it ended in a flash
 I see no one is reliable, and I'm okay with that
 I put the weight upon myself
 I should not blame anyone else
 Nothing is permanent in this life the snow will melt
 And I've accepted that, but nonetheless
 Realizing this was painful I guess
 But once I learned the lesson
 It was easier to cope
 People in it for themselves
 I used to blame 'em, now I don't
 Friends don't worry 'bout your feelings
 They too worried 'bout their own
 I have to not worry about the things that I can not control
 Don't you catch my drift
 You following along?
 I hope that one day someone proves this wrong
 But I will not hold my breath
 This ain't woah as me, this is real AF
 Hmm, no one is reliable
 Hmm, no one is reliable
 Hmm, no one is reliable
 Except me