Attractive Stupid People

Attractive stupid people
 appear to glide through life
 watch an attractive stupid man
 attract and land a stupid wife
 but the problem is the kids
 won't look as good as mom or dad
 and they're always slightly smarter
 which drives their pretty parents mad
 Attractive stupid people think
 talent got them where they are
 sometimes it's not too good
 when your good looks take you too far
 to places you're not smart enough
 to know you don't belong
 this is the story of Franklin Pierce
 this won't be a happy song . . .
 Franklin Pierce was born in New Hampshire
 in 1804
 57 years before
 the start of our Civil War
 behind his back they called him "doughface"
 a nickname for a Northern man
 who had Southern leanings
 slavery?
 he was a fan
 He became our 14th president
 in 1852
 he had no real credentials
 but his looks sure pulled him through
 he's considered the most handsome man
 who's ever held the job
 he was the first -- but not the last
 Democratic presidential heart-throb
 Historians tell us
 he was an inoffensive bloke
 his lack of backbone makes him
 today look like a joke
 with the Ostend Manifesto
 he tried to steal Cuba from Spain
 he wanted to make it a slave state. . .
 but cooler heads derailed that train
 He was much in favor
 of the Kansas-Nebraska Act
 which also was pro-slavery
 set our progress back
 in 1856
 he did not get a second chance
 Democrats nominated James Buchanan
 to take them to the dance
 Though he was born in New Hampshire
 he rooted for the South
 and more than once poor Franklin Pierce
 put his foot in his moutha
 that is when he wasn't drinking
 and he was drinking day and night
 his wife was a religious nut
 who knew how to pick a fight
 FRANKLIN!!!
 He died of cirrhosis of the liver
 in 1869
 but with his bone structure
 even sick he looked so fine
 the worst president we ever had
 his reign now might be ruined
 all because of a hanging chad
 Attactive stupid women
 attractive stupid men
 have led the world astray
 again and again and again
 as we march into the future
 the thought that calms my fears
 there's an attractive man and woman
 in the White House
 who've got brains between their ears