The Ballad Of Farquaad

My Daddy was a miner
 So he wasn't much around.
 Foraging for diamonds
 A life spent underground.
 Daddy didn't talk much
 He barely said "Hello."
 He'd simply mutter, "Heigh, ho."
 And off to work he'd go
 Daddy was grumpy
 My Momma was a princess
 Who left her crown behind
 Daddy was her true love,
 So Momma didn't mind.
 I never knew my Momma
 But she could've been a queen
 She married way beneath her...
 Beneath her knee, I mean
 Oh, Daddy's bed was lumpy
 So Mommy couldn't sleep
 Daddy built a new one
 So tall and so steep!
 Twenty five mattresses she slept upon
 One night she rolled over...
 And Momma was gone
 So Daddy was grumpy!
 Me and my old man
 A tale as old as dirt
 A bitter, distant father,
 In a tiny undershirt.
 Daddy up and left me
 Left me good as dead
 Now he lives in squalor...
 Sleepin' seven to a bed!
 Oh, if you could only see me now,
 Daddy, I'd invite you to the wedding
 But you have to be this tall to get in!
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 My bride-to-be is gorgeous!
 Her wedding dress, designer!
 The guest list will be major!
 Without a minor miner!
 Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
 Packs of royal lackeys
 Playing violin
 Strings of royal underlings
 Who will not let you in
 Ha, ha! Ha, ha! Ha, ha!
 Tricked out carriage!
 Tricked out carriage.
 Twenty stallions!
 Twenty stallions.
 With a coachman named Raoul
 With a coachman named Roul!
 Big reception
 Big reception
 With a boy band
 With a boy band
 And a royal DJ by the pool!
 Yes, I can see my future
 And so it shall be done
 It's total domination
 With some torture just for fun.
 'Cause I will have my wedding
 And I will have a queen
 And once I get that crown on,
 You will get the guillotine
 And I'll punish you, Daddy
 'Cause I'm all grown-up
 And bigger than you'll ever know!
 You're gonna pay, Daddy!
 It's any day, Daddy!
 I'm off to work! Heigh, ho!