I'm Not Okay

Tonight the monsters in my head
 Are screaming so damn loud
 But I built walls so high
 So they never even make a sound
 It's a mask, it's a lie
 It's the only home I've ever known
 'Cause being who I really am
 Has only left me more alone
 I am not okay
 And I need you to see it
 I have so much to say
 And no one to hear it
 The reason I keep quiet
 With so much at stake
 I always feel like a burden, let it silence me
 You'll never understand
 Why it's so hard to say
 I'm not okay
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 I wish I had a scar
 Had a bruise on the surface, any kind of proof
 That everything I feel is more than just some sad excuse
 My life's invisible abuse
 I'm either judged or have to hide
 The only symptom you can see
 Is I don't wanna be alive
 I am not okay
 And I need you to see it
 I have so much to say
 And no one to hear it
 The reason I keep quiet
 With so much at stake
 I always feel like a burden, let it silence me
 You'll never understand
 Why it's so hard to say
 I'll never have the words, I can't explain this hell
 But what if it kills me
 If I keep it to myself?
 To myself
 I am not okay
 And I need you to see it
 I have so much to say
 And no one to hear it
 I am not okay
 I am not okay
 I'm never safe
 It's not a phase
 If I finally break
 Would you still stay?
 Tonight the monsters in my head
 Are screaming so damn loud