I Love This Town

I love this town like an unmade bed
 I love this town of the living dead
 I love this town gonna paint it red
 If I can spare a minute
 I love this town where curtains twitch
 Where this door scratches next door's itch
 It's a pantomime at fever pitch
 And we can all be in it
 People here are large as life
 They know the whole world and his wife
 From a razor's edge to a kitchen knife
 They'll be glad to help you
 I love this town of hidden charms
 Where no one means you any harm
 And if you sleep through false alarms
 No one here would blame you
 I love this town on the beaten track
 Where nothing slips between the cracks
 Her rent's arrears his heart attack
 Now isn't that a shame
 Everyone's friendly to your face
 And everybody knows their place
 As long as you respect their space
 You won't have to worry
 The town hall clock is calling out
 It's rush hour on the roundabout
 Now I know without a doubt
 It's the place for me
 I love this town the dirty streets
 It's a merry-go-round with broken seats
 Where silk and lace and satin sheets
 Are only dirty washing
 I love this town down on its knees
 It's going under by degrees
 Still we can do just as we please
 As long as no one's watching
 I love this town, I love this town
 I love this town, I love this town