Drug Addiction " Part 2 "

Colicchie
 You know To give a testimony first you have to survive the test
 I'm feeling like I'm dying from these drugs that I enjected
 I can go in either arm left or right I'm emprdectous
 My soul is desolate, my spirit is defected
 I keep making wrong decisions that will never get corrected
 I'm doing what I have to never cared about the wreckage
 I keep chasing this high but I can never seem to catch it
 I told you my story, now let me go a little deeper
 I was dealing with a chemical deadlier then ether
 I never showed respect living on the verge of death
 Cause this herion will kill me smell the murder on its breath
 I'm walking on this tight rope as I'm watching every step
 Now I'm living on the run I never sleep, I never rest
 I'm having trouble breathing from the pressure on my chest
 This anxiety is killing me, suffocating from stress
 The residence I'm stay at is filthy and it's a mess but
 I can't leave til this bag is gone and theres nothing left
 So I'm stuck feeling empty and suicidal thoughts are present
 The enhance of my depression wants me dead without a question
 The shit is in my blood my whole family suffers
 My sisters getting high with me wer smokin like a muffler
 My mothers an alcoholic the addiction is intense
 My father left in 84 and we haven't seen him since
 He chose drugs over us and yea I get it its impossible to stop
 So now there crimes that I'm committin
 I vomit in the sink every morning I am broke
 The completion on my skin is gray looking like a ghost
 I'll guess I'll take his money him and I was never close
 I was suppose to buy crack but somebody sold me soap
 I never paid for nothing as I'm headed towards the door
 You can try and come and catch me as I'm running out the store
 All I want is drugs all I ever needed is more
 Me and my sister passed the needle back and forth
 Blood is dripping off both my arms and now its falling onto the floor
 We manipulate the lighter watch that flame hit the chore
 Shes pushing on the stem I tried to wait my turn
 Every pair of pants i got is covered in cigarette burns
 I'm living a life style every cridatly acclaimed
 My arms are black and blue as I try to hit another vein
 Its gunna take an hour, why? Every vien is collapsed
 Should I clean it out with bleach? I dont even have to ask
 The answers no, let it go, it's set in stone
 You see I'm merried to the needle, never touching methadone
 My moods are unpredictable my actions are arradic
 And this spike is in my arm and I'm gunna die as a using addict
 I'm drinking alcohol and til I fall apart
 As the room is spinning slowly to the toilet as I crawl
 Let's pour another drink then its after shot, after shot
 After shot, after shot though It's just to drawn my thoughts
 Everything is blurry I can never read the manuscript
 Everything I'm doin every decision is cancerous
 I would crash i could never find the landing strip
 Ecstasy and mushrooms together I use to candy flip
 That was back when these drugs they were fun and
 Now I'm madicole to misery a monster I've become
 Heroins my guard I follow orders that are strict
 You see I'm just a crew member and it's the captain of the ship
 The stems I call it off try to use a damn rag
 I'm feeling so alone as I'm pouring out these stamp begs
 I'm pulling on the belt until every vein is visible
 Everyday I'm overwhelmed stressed living miserable
 The drug game I'm always losing like I'm gamblin
 I see she isnt breathing so I call another ambulance
 Well lost souls no god no type of management
 Everyday is death and crime I cant fucking handle this
 I'm blowin out the smoke as Im peaking past the curtains
 Now my house is surrounded I see the shadows and now I'm nervous yea
 There coming to get me. Ok maybe I'm just paranoid
 Now everyone be quite silence til I hear another noise
 Feeling the void I'm truly losing my mind
 I'm using my license when I'm chopping out these lines
 Trying to stay alive is how I really spend my time
 I'm covered in guilt and shame
 Let me tell you about a friend of mine
 She sold her soul, sold her body, she sold everything
 She sold her house, car she even sold her wedding ring
 Shes starting to get sick and shes turning to another trick
 She dont want to live this way sucking dick for another hit
 Look, you think it's funny, put yourself in her shoes
 And imagine what it's like to have no option to choose
 And wer so quick to judge another
 What if this song was about your mother
 Do you think you'd understand and still love her
 All I do is lie, and i never tell the truth
 My neighbors see I'm sick so I tell them I got the flu
 I rented out my car needed to get high my
 Dealer has my vehicle I see him driving by
 These track Mark's I've had them since I was younger
 I'm wearing long sleeves in the middle of the summer
 The paramedics took my needle, spoon and both bundles
 Why are you hitting me with narcan? You are interrupting my slumber
 I turn to my father, I'm hated this isnt me
 I'm suppose to serve a purpose while I'm living out my dreams
 I turn to my father, I'm nauseous sick to my stomach
 Chaotic or narcotics this isnt the life I wanted
 I turn to my father, I'm the devil in the flesh
 I never have confidence as I'm settling for less
 I turn to my father, and i hate what I've become. so now
 I wanna end my life in search of a loaded gun
 I'm feeling lost and broken all I ever do is hurt
 My mother is in the other room and I'm taking money out of her purse
 I try and mask the pain but it only made it worse
 When I finally hit a point to where the drugs no longer working
 I'm killing myself slowly and I just wanna feel some freedom
 My thoughts are paralyzed as I'm battling these demons
 I use to tell myself that id be better off dead
 I stopped listening to the voices that are inside of my head
 I wanna change
 I need to be a son to my mother, and a brother to my sister
 Look, I'm tired of this struggle My obsession has been lifted but the
 Structure that I crave but
 I'm doing what it takes so I dont see an early grave
 I thank God I hit the bottom and now he carrys me
 I didn't want my mother and sister to have to bury me
 I've fallen many times finally got
 My life together cause I kept trying
 Never quit through never failed never
 Now a days these parents there burying there kids there
 Dying younger and younger and they never get a chance to live
 I'm trying to show the world hope regardless of what I did
 And that's truly why I do this, and it gets everything I give
 I had multiple years clean twice but then I lost
 It, but now my daily mayhem suffocated and caution
 I tred softly, no traditions violations
 Look I use to be a loser, and now my lifes truly amazing
 I try to be of survice you can find that in our symbol
 I used to be shakey, but now I'm steady like a kimbol
 I put my hands together every night to pray
 As I'm smoking and Slowly drinking coffee relaxing with Jimmy k
 I had to write a sequel do it for our people
 We all have our own issues but understand that we're equal
 Theres many days I wanna give up and use
 As my misery that I've done it's nothing new
 Now I'm staring at my daughter and she's the alter of my mood
 She's the underline force in everything I ever do
 My daughter is my everything and that'll never change
 I can't wait til shes old enough and sees what I've became
 I love my daughter but she wont keep me clean
 See the drugs are just a symptom and now I'm fighting to be free
 I try to separate all my wants and my needs
 I'm working on myself and I learned acceptance is the key
 Through it all I try and spread a positive message
 I'm dedicated to death with every breath I invested
 I'm constantly pushing I got this fire in my eyes
 Listen, all my dead friends is what's giving my drive
 I tried to play my part but could always be doing more
 There callin it a battle, i call it a losing war
 We gotta come together my experiences will
 You can not identify with what I did relate to how I feel
 A pedistole is needed, I am very far from gifted
 We all felt the same pain but our stories might be different
 With any brush and paint we all paint a picture of a different
 Image but the message doesn't have a meaning unless I live it
 I have defined the odds where miracles is living proof
 I'm alive to tell my story and I'm sharing it with you
 Its gods grace and mercy is the reason I'm still alive
 I'm watching friends use and it is killing me inside
 To anyone thats trying to change there life your my idol
 Life will have its ups and downs but I'm no longer sudicile
 Now a days these artists they just glorify drugs and
 See I'm trying to do it differently and glorify the love
 And you can judge me but I'm proud of my
 Accomplishments my name is chas smith and I refuse to be anonymous
 I use to dream a living and now I'm living my dreams
 No matter what it takes my goal is die clean. Die Clean
 No matter what it takes my goal is die clean. Die Clean
 No matter what it takes my goal is die clean. Die Clean
 No matter what it takes my goal is die clean. Die Clean
 No matter what it takes my goal is die clean. Die Clean