Intrusive Thoughts

Solace in this solitude is what I had sought
 Applauding God and his facade
 There's comfort in this fraud
 I'm just the son he'd gone and forgot
 I gave up on myself, my health, and hope of any help
 May Hell accept me as the spawn of what this world has dealt
 My teeth are metaphors of everything that I deplore
 Hollow, flawed, and falling from the awful height of twenty floors
 As I descend, feel my knees bend
 Indifferent, apathetic glances across the cement
 When my face met at least it kissed the pavement
 The ground gave me more sympathy and grief than what their stares meant
 Harbored dark thoughts
 Got the cops calling spots where my body might drop
 Voices in my closet talk
 Jaws click and gossip
 Who the notches in my bedpost are
 Hear them knock before I toss myself
 All for naught
 I mock and scoff
 And hop onto the windowsill
 A father and his daughter paused
 To stop and watch
 Then walk it off
 Forgot my face
 Confirmed my faith
 The human race has lost its cause
 Dancing with the devil by the moonlight
 Head filled with some moonshine
 Led and pirouetted out the room by my bruised thighs
 Loose stride
 Moving through the booze 'til the brew's dry
 Used to abuse
 So what's it to you, right?
 Delusions of grandeur used to subdue doubt
 Until it perfused through my body like gout
 Then it consumed more than I had allowed
 Exhuming the tombs of neurosis aground
 Confusion and laughter from the ruthless crowd
 Assuming the stupid kid would turn around
 A nuisance, a loser, whose head's in the clouds
 Too far removed from the earth to be found
 And the crows gather round
 So concerned now they stand on common ground
 Murders perched and watched me rot
 They brought with them intrusive thoughts