My Attorney Bernie

I'm impressed
 With my attorney Bernie
 I'm impressed
 With his influential friends
 He's got very big connections
 And I follow his directions
 Bernie knows his way around
 And so I always do what Bernie recommends
 I am blessed
 With my attorney Bernie
 I'm impressed
 With the way he runs the store
 He's got Dodger season boxes
 And an office full of foxes
 It's amazing all the different things
 Your average guy might need a lawyer for
 Bernie tells me what to do
 Bernie lays it on the line
 Bernie says, we sue, we sue
 Bernie says, we sign, we sign
 I'm in touch
 With my attorney Bernie
 In a clutch
 He can speed right to the scene
 And if I'm locked up in the jail
 With just one phone call for my bail
 He said to call his club collect
 Or deal directly with his answering machine
 And when I dine
 With my attorney Bernie
 He buys wine
 From the rare imported rack
 That's 'cause Bernie is a purist
 And not your polyester tourist
 Bernie waves the glass around awhile
 Then takes a sip and always sends it back
 Bernie tells me what to do
 Bernie lays it on the line
 Bernie says, we sue, we sue
 Bernie says, we sign, we sign
 I admire
 My attorney Bernie
 I admire
 Any guy who knows his stuff
 Sure we blew a couple ventures
 With a counterfeit debentures
 But you win a few, you lose a few
 Like Bernie says, "You keep on hanging tough"
 Thanks to you
 My attorney Bernie
 Thanks to you
 I'm considered well to do
 Sure I made out like a bandit
 Just exactly like you planned it
 But like Murray, my accountant
 Told me yesterday, I owe it all to you.
 Bernie tells me what to do
 Bernie lays it on the line
 Bernie says, we sue, we sue
 Bernie says, we sign, we sign
 On the dotted line