I'm Doing My Best

What do you think when you see me?
 Don't judge me, I'm doing my best
 Why couldn't my life be easy?
 That's because mine is a test
 And maybe I'm broken completely
 I'm always so fucking depressed
 I'm meaningless, nobody needs me
 I'm everyone's deepest regret
 Yeah, this mind that I have is a sad one
 This heart that I have is a black one
 I contemplate using this handgun
 I reminisce times that I had once
 With the girl of my dreams that I had once
 I used to have friends, now I have none
 I gotta just face it, I can't run
 I'm cursed to be someone you can't love
 More medication, I need it right now
 All these prescriptions keep bringing me down
 Crying for help but they don't hear a sound
 Head underwater, tonight I might drown
 I come from torture and horror, my life isn't normal
 It kills me, I hate to reflect
 I don't trust anyone, I said fuck everyone
 I can't think straight but I'm trying my best
 Keep all my nightmares and secrets
 I try but I can't let them go
 They see my emotions as weakness
 But they only see what I show
 Some people call me a genius
 Others would say I'm a joke
 I can't escape from my demons
 I'm stuck in this world without hope
 Yeah, watch as my spirit disintegrates
 Watch as my body obliterates
 Trauma, it caused all this inner hate
 Memories I can't eliminate
 I'm going down the decisions made
 This isn't sudden, I've been afraid
 Crazy and hollow, I'm still the same
 I can't break out of my sinful ways
 Telling y'all sorrowful stories
 And not for attention and not for the glory
 It's just how I feel, I'm just doing this for me
 That's why I don't sleep until 4 in the morning
 And when I'm on the mic, it's a suicide warning
 I'm wearing a halo, already I'm soaring
 But I ain't no angel, I'm evil, unholy
 I'm merely a ghost in this city, I'm lonely
 Yeah, looks are deceitful, search under the surface
 Reality's fake, a ridiculous circus
 Where finding your purpose means finding a purpose
 And being yourself means you hide behind curtains
 Just struggles and burdens, the pain only worsens
 The future's uncertain, the past always lurking
 The present converges but time's a diversion
 From whatever's next, it doesn't concern us
 True pain isn't something that just goes away
 It stays inside you forever
 And all you can do is pray for a better tomorrow
 It may not come, but that's reality
 It's just the world we live in
 What do you think when you see me?
 Don't judge me, I'm doing my best
 Why couldn't my life be easy?
 That's because mine is a test
 And maybe I'm broken completely
 I'm always so fucking depressed
 I'm meaningless, nobody needs me
 I'm everyone's deepest regret
 Yeah, this mind that I have is a sad one
 This heart that I have is a black one
 I contemplate using this handgun
 I reminisce times that I had once
 With the girl of my dreams that I had once
 I used to have friends, now I have none
 I gotta just face it, I can't run
 I'm cursed to be someone you can't love
 DempseyRollBoy
 In a world of my own