Imaginary Friends with Benefits

I'm wearing your perfume sample like a scapular
 And it's sucking the life of me like Dracula
 Morning you were chorus and verse
 And I'm warning you it only gets worse
 Worse
 PRECHORUS
 I couldn't sweeten this deal if I slid down your chimney with it
 If I seem off you can just turn me on and in time I swear you'll ignore it
 CHORUS
 So be my best imaginary
 Very very best imaginary
 Be my best imaginary friend
 With benefits
 This is why they shouldn't let me out
 This is why you wouldn't let me in no
 I gave my usual act of contrition
 And you wouldn't let me pass go
 You wouldn't let me pass go
 REPEAT PRECHORUS + CHORUS
 There's a price tag on everything about me
 And you can bet it's going cheap
 You can bet you can have
 The shirt off my back
 The shirt off my back
 You can have what's underneath
 REPEAT CHORUS
 I couldn't sweeten this deal
 I couldn't sweeten this deal
 I couldn't sweeten this deal if I slid down your chimney with it