First Date

They'd been emailing so he asked her for a date
 And he said that he wouldn't be late
 He rushed there a little after eight
 He ran three red lights, he got a ticket
 He can lick it 'cause his brother knows the DA
 He copped a plea and he only got probation
 He sings along to an oldies station
 He sings
 Baby, baby
 I'll be true to you
 He rings the bell and he can tell
 That this night is gonna be swell
 'Bout the time that the wine and the V's kick in
 To calm his nerves he had a plan
 He ingested seven Percodan
 And to get in the mood a handful of ludes
 And a pint of old Crow for the right attitude
 And he stood at the door of this girl he never met before
 Her emails were sweet that's for sure, he thought
 Baby, baby
 I'll be true to you
 His head on fire, he was inspired
 To take his presentation one step higher
 Didn't want to be rude but if she had saw him in the nude
 She could see how he truly was because
 All the trappings like money and clothes
 Aw, they were nothing but silly shows
 So off his pants and his shirt goes
 What can I say, his limbs gave way
 His head went blank and and to his knees he sank
 That's how she found him when she opened the door
 He was naked and passed out on his front porch mumbling
 Baby, baby
 I'll be true to you
 She was gonna call the cops, then she stopped
 He looked so cute lying there, with the blood in his hair
 On the bushes hung his underwear
 She brought him inside, she nursed his pride
 Seven months later she became his bride
 They're still together, they brave the weather
 They love each other, tougher than leather they sing
 Baby, baby
 I'll be true
 Baby, baby, baby
 I'll be true to you
 Yeah, alright