Scuzzy Kizzoozle Curl

There's a lot of ways to die,
 Under Ireland's sky,
 But the worst way by far might be a bit of a surprise,
 I'd rather be knifed in bar,
 Or hit by a car,
 Than to meet my end lookin' in to her eyes,
 And hear the cries
 Of my demise
 My last goodbyes!
 Well she's a six ounce ball of blood, muscle and fur,
 And she's the evilest thing, in this or any world,
 And you better start running if you ever see her,
 She's Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl, the homicidal squirrel.
 I was at the county fair,
 And Scuzzy Kizoozle was there,
 She was slicing through the crowd like a mower mowing lawns.
 I watched the people fall
 To her razor sharp claws,
 And then she was in my face before I knew what was goin' on!
 I raised my arm,
 And tried to run,
 But I was stunned!
 Well she's a six ounce ball of blood, muscle and fur,
 And she's the evilest thing, in this or any world,
 And you better start running if you ever see her,
 She's Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl, the homicidal squirrel.
 Her teeth sank into my arm and,
 Everything but pain was gone,
 And I looked down at
 Her blood-stained fangs
 She looked into my eyes,
 And the fear was paralyzin',
 I felt the blood,
 Running from my veins,
 And oh the pain,
 And oh the pain,
 And oh the pain!
 Well she's a six ounce ball of blood, muscle and fur,
 And she's the evilest thing, in this or any world,
 And you better start running if you ever see her,
 She's Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl, the homicidal squirrel.
 I'm only alive today,
 By God's grace,
 I'm the only man who's met with her,
 And lived to tell the tale
 But I keep my eyes wide
 She will never be denied
 Until the day I die,
 She'll be there on my trail
 O'er hill and dale
 Through rain and hail
 She will prevail!