This Is Not Harry Potter

Something just occured to me as I was reading
 another book I'd heard was the next big thing
 I thought what would I give, if it could be true
 If I could ever feel again the way I felt when I read you
 I'd pay a million galeons
 Or Dress up like I go to beauxbatons
 I'd tattoo my head with a lighting bolt
 I'd pawn my wand and firebolt
 But no matter how many good things I'm told
 Everything I ever read turns out to be leprechaun gold
 It's been so many years no matter how I try
 to read more young adult fiction
 I keep coming up dry
 it's like water water everywhere and not a drop to drink
 my frustration and my agony have pushed me to the brink
 I keep tilting back the glass but I never taste the water
 it seems no matter what I read I think "this is not harry potter."
 I was pretty impressed with frankie landau banks
 but compare saving the world with a few epic pranks
 There is no monoploy on non-human people
 there's faerie's buggers talking cats and nac mac feegle
 And thirteen little blue envelopes
 Was fantastic but my sneakoscope
 would be flashing and spinning if I said
 That it was the best book I've read
 And you gotta know that this is no joke
 That I also read books that my own brother wrote
 It's been so many years no matter how I try
 to read more young adult fiction
 I keep coming up dry
 it's like water water everywhere and not a drop to drink
 my frustration and my agony have pushed me to the brink
 I keep tilting back the glass but I never taste the water
 it seems no matter what I read I think "this is not harry potter."
 And in the darkest hours, of my darkest nights
 I found myself curled up with twilight
 And I couldn't help but wonder as I ravenously read
 can you avada kedavra the undead
 'cause edward cullen totally has it comin'
 and if he saw voldemort he'd better start runnin'
 cause there's not much that the dark lord and i
 could agree on but I think that we would both hate that guy
 Sir nicholas de mimsy porpington
 Is a character name that, all by itself, is better than breaking dawn
 It's been so many years no matter how I try
 to read more young adult fiction
 I keep coming up dry
 President Snow is no voldemort
 Diagon Alley is cooler than Ankh Mor Pork
 And Lyra Silvertoungue is Mrs. Coulter's Daughter
 That's a good plot twist but it is not harry potter.