Gaston - Remastered 2018

Who does she think she is?
 That girl has tangled with the wrong man
 No one says no to Gaston!
 Hehe, darn right!
 Dismissed, rejected, publicly humiliated!
 Why, it's more than I can bear
 More beer?
 What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced!
 Who, you? Never!
 Gaston, you've got to pull yourself together
 Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
 Looking so down in the dumps
 Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston
 Even when taking your lumps
 There's no man in town as admired as you
 You're everyone's favorite guy
 Everyone's awed and inspired by you
 And it's not very hard to see why
 No one's slick as Gaston
 No one's quick as Gaston
 No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston
 For there's no man in town half as manly
 Perfect, a pure paragon
 You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley
 And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on
 No one's been like Gaston
 A kingpin like Gaston
 No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston
 As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating
 My, what a guy, that Gaston!
 Give five hurrahs, give ten hip-hips!
 Gaston is the best and the rest is just drips!
 No one fights like Gaston
 Douses lights like Gaston
 In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Gaston
 For there's no one as burly or brawny
 As you see, I've got biceps to spare
 Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny
 That's right! And every last inch of me's covered with hair
 No one hits like Gaston
 Matches wits like Gaston
 In a spitting match, nobody spits like Gaston
 I'm especially good at expectorating — ptooey!
 Ten points for Gaston!
 When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs
 Every morning to help me get large
 And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs
 So I'm roughly the size of a barge!
 No one shoots like Gaston
 Makes those beauts like Gaston
 Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston
 I use antlers in all of my decorating!
 Say it again!
 Who's a man among men?
 And let's say it once more!
 Who's the hero next door?
 Who's a super success? Don't you know? Can't you guess?
 Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
 There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down
 And his name's G-A-S... T...
 G-A-S-T-E... G-A-S-T-O... oh!
 Gaston!