Second Death in the Rabbit Hole

A glass of wine
 In my basement alone
 It's not the blood of the lamb
 But it warms my throat
 I was counting down the days
 And felt the calling for the distance
 But stay just the same
 With little to no resistance
 Now I'm sinking to feel sober Like I've never gotten over the past
 And my cabin that is failing while my
 ship ceases its sailing with every blast
 And yeah, I feel exasperated,
 I quite doubt that I would make it to the sea
 But I'd rather drown fighting for the
 ocean than die in a land-locked dream
 Can you count the times that I took a step back
 Out of all of them, could you please identify my set-back
 So maybe next time, I'll take Coke but hold the whiskey
 ‘Cuz disillusioned thoughts can't fill the void I'm missing
 Now I'm calling to the water like a harbor of floating disease
 With a slight concerning fear that I've exaggerated my lung capacities
 And yeah, I feel exasperated,
 I quite doubt that I would make it to the sea
 But I'd rather drown fighting for the
 ocean than die in a land-locked dream
 Please save my ship
 (I would wipe away every tear from their eyes.
 Death is gone for good, tears gone,
 crying gone, pain gone. All the for sure things—gone)
 I'd like to take my secret habit and throw it down the rabbit hole
 I was sober a few years but I guess the
 beers just sort of came with coming home
 And it tasted far too sweet when it brought
 the color back to my cheeks after my heart froze
 And it's easy to get away with
 whatever when you're, when you're always alone
 God, please save my ship