Another Inch

I'm blessed with a sunny demeanor
 I'm graced with the gift of gab
 I've got a cheerful, chiseled face
 At singing
 Well
 I'm fab
 My life's a wealth of riches
 But you can take your pick
 Winter through fall
 I'd trade it all all
 For another inch
 Of dick
 I eat ceviche
 On every beach
 From Baja to Barbados
 It's chicken feed cause what I need's
 More meat with my potatoes
 My drink of choice is fine champagne
 In which I shower daily
 But from my prick
 I get no kick
 The trick a thick shillelagh
 I populate my harem
 With brunettes, redheads and blondes
 It don't mean squat
 I'd toss the lot
 For just a smidge more schvonze
 My white Corvette
 My Learjet
 The private yacht I skipper
 Are still no scrip
 They're just a blip
 When I unzip my flipper
 And though to you my life is charmed
 To me it's still a dud
 Whose only remedy you see's
 A slightly longer pud
 I've paid
 Outrageous prices for special devices on late night television
 I've emptied my purse to coerce the reverse of my cursed circumcision
 When girls take dictation they like exclamation points
 Not apostrophes
 And deep in their cooter they don't want a scooter
 They want an SUV
 My skill at math is unsurpassed
 Converting quart to liter
 But still I vent for one more cent
 imeter on my peter
 My skin is alabaster smooth
 There's neither mole nor freckle
 Betwixt my thighs there's no surprise
 No double decker schmeckel
 Join me!
 Zipple zu zwapple za zwapple zu dwei
 My yearning, burning ember
 Skable zwabble duei
 Skwabble dwapple duei
 My pole, my swolen "member"
 Skrababble duei skrabadabble do
 Skrabweeble dwei Charles Bronson
 Skrababble duei babble zabble dwei
 My dong, my schlong, my "Johnson"
 Some say that I'm ungrateful
 They call me a complainer
 Sure, life is sweet
 But incomplete
 With my petite
 Blue veiner
 Might I negate
 My tragic fate
 To live, then die alone
 Without the girl whose heart will twirl
 When I unfurl
 My bone
 One day I'll find that special kind
 And one thing will define her
 What makes us cool
 Makes me her fool
 Her miniscule
 Vaginer
 Her
 Microscopic cock entropic rock me til I popic small vaginer