This Is Not Who I Want To Be

Rain pouring down
 My head pounds from the sound
 I'm stuck to the bed
 With brain zaps in my head
 I can't fall asleep
 I cannot stay awake
 I cry 'til I weep
 I shiver and I shake
 I think of you
 I think of you
 Think of you
 It's all that I can do
 And Lord knows I've tried
 I'm trying hard to change
 I wish I knew why
 I always stay the same
 This is not who I want to be
 This is not who I want to be
 I am slowly killing me
 Oh, this is not who I want to be
 I wish I was scared of poison pills and pain
 I wish I was scared of damage to my brain
 But finally I see, I should be scared of me
 How'd I come to be my own worst enemy?
 This is not who I want to be
 This is not who I want to be
 I am slowly killing me
 No, this is not who I want to be