Ted and the 20 Person Plane

I, uh, I am getting tired of traveling a little bit
 Because like, you know you have to fly when you're coming out to the
 West Coast and big airlines now will mess
 with-mess with you in so many different ways
 Like, sometimes they'll try and pawn
 you off on their little junior airline
 Like, I almost got on a United flight and
 the pilot got on the loudspeaker and he was like
 "Today's United flight is being operated by our junior airline, Ted"
 Who the fuck is Ted?
 I went to high school with a guy named Ted and it better not be him
 Because he is addicted to Oxycontin
 So I don't like big airlines, no one does
 Guess who I also don't like, small airlines
 Very scary the small airline you know
 I wa-a couple months ago got to fly
 out of a tiny airport in Quincy, Illinois
 Jealous?
 And I got on a twenty person plane
 Now you think that you would trust a
 small plane more because it weighs less
 And flying is a war against gravity
 But I got on this plane and I was like "holy shit,
 if this things crashes, it won't even be on the news"
 Or it will be but real quick
 Just like "oh, and a small plane crashed today, obviously"