Imagine If

Every stitch of clothing, every strand of hair
 My skin and bones, my toe and finger nails
 All my vital organs
 Appendages and such, I'm not sure
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 Every word I say, even the promises
 Every tear and every laugh and every kiss
 The good dreams and the bad ones
 The whispers and the screams, I'm not sure
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 I doubt everything, about me
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 Choices all around me, but which one is mine?
 I never thought that I would be so hard to find
 I've looked in every mirror
 And pictures from the past
 I'm not there
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 I've never been decisive but this takes the cake
 An existential nervousness that I can't shake
 I used to be so different
 Once I trusted and once I just played
 
 And I can't be too sure, just when it was that I changed
 And I can't look at anything without seeing
 A million different ways it could be
 Including me